His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
MIDGETS
????
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
