Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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