i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
