i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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