honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
