Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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