how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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