Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
