This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
