So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
