All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
