She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
