theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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