Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
