I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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