Yo dont text me then not text me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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