8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize