k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
even my farts smell like vagina
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
