Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
