I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
