Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
