can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
