the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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