Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
that may or may not have been my penis.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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