She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
