i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
