Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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