If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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