Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
