yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
