you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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