he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
