what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
