I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
