Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize