Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
