Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
