this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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