How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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