as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
