he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Be still, my beating vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
