You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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