then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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