She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
