we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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