We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
