Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
