What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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