i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
