why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
